jokes4all.net

Wife jokes

86 jokes about wives



Search



Two guys went to a gas station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the male attendant.

"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex."

"Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I guess seven."

"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.

The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number.

"Two!" said the second guy.

"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. "Come back and try again."

As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, "I think this contest is rigged."

"No way," said his buddy. "My wife won twice last week."

43     → Joke


What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

66     → Joke


The husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight."

The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"

51     → Joke


There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

He replied: "The drugs are wearing off!"

14     → Joke


What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds.

What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?

45 minutes.

53     → Joke


Ad
Ad