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Wife jokes

86 jokes about wives



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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

44     → Joke


Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

67     → Joke


Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

When the kids are in college.

32     → Joke


A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

57     → Joke


An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.

He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.

He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.

Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"

She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"

40     → Joke


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