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A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.

After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another double martini.

After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another one.

The bartender says: "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martini's all night long - but you got to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies: "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I will know it's time to go home!"

32     martini jokes


Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

50     bar jokes


Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

When the kids are in college.

28     baby jokes


A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

63     credit card jokes


First guy proudly: "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

111     angel jokes






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