96 jokes about wives
24 → Joke
Why do men
want their brides to wear white?
Because they want their dishwasher
to match their fridge and stove!
32 → Joke
researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey
of his to check on a discrepancy. He asks the bloke, "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse you answered 'twice weekly'. Your wife, on the other hand, answered 'several times a night'."
"That's right," replies the bloke, "And that's how it's going to stay until our second mortgage
is paid off."
31 → Joke
walks into a pharmacy
and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons
for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes
, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.
12 → Joke
After spending all day watching football
, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV
and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.
"Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to seven."
He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"
4 → Joke
are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo
I saw you with last night?"
The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife
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