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What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

10    


woman,haircut
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115" she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 foot 8," she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

9    


Yo momma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

7    

woman,scale

Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?

Because the text on the diapers package said '18-40 lbs'.

44    

businessman:3

Yo momma is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

12    

woman,scale



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