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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

15     → Joke


Chemist's last words

1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...

15     → Joke


How are men like noodles?

They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

7     → Joke


Proposal

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico.

"Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box."

His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary.

"That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"

3     → Joke


Proposal

A passenger plane was flying over a desert when one engine broke down and the plane crashed.

One man survived and decided that not knowing when help would arrive, he needed to prepare himself for surviving.

After three months the man had settled in quite nicely, built him a shelter, had a steady food supply and found a water hole.

Also at this water hole he came across a lone camel staying by the water hole, and accepted this camel as his 'company'.

For another three months this went on until the man was starting to get bored with the life he had made for himself in the desert, and as with any man, the man had been raunchy for quite a while now, until one day, whilst looking at the camel, considered it ... and had a go but failed in his attempt.

This was the case every day for the following three months, with the man getting to an uncontrollable state of raunchiness, when another plane crashed near where the man was staying, he rushed to the scene to find a sole survivor, a beautiful young French female model.

The man helped the lady to his home where he fed her, gave her water and started telling his whole story about living in the desert.

As night fell and the man went on telling his story, the model got more and more amazed at this man's story, and by the time the man was had finished, the woman had even fallen in love, and with their romantic atmosphere asked him that for all of his troubles and kindness, there surely was something she could do for him??

... After thinking for a while the man agreed and pointed at the camel saying "I've been trying for three months now, I would really appreciate it if you could please hold the camel still!"

3     → Joke


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