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Watching - 14 jokes



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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

11     → Joke


What TV station do bees watch?

Bee Bee C!

0     → Joke


A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

43     → Joke


Little Susie was watching her father, a pastor, write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" she asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

50     → Joke


Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said Betty.

"Bet you $10 he won't," replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.

"I can't take your money," said Betty. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news."

"No, no. Take it," said Amber. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

44     → Joke



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