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A social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?"

The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."

The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."

21     → Joke


An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

36     → Joke


Yo momma is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.

14     → Joke


Teacher: "The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it?"

Pupil: "My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks!"

3     → Joke


A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"

"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."

"Oh, my God!" screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "My Rolex!"

2     → Joke



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