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Proposal

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"

Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

"Oh,"said Hillary,"whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."

"Whose clock is that?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bill's clock?"Hillary asked.

"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

5     → Joke


What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?

George Michael's latest release.

18     → Joke


Have you ever noticed that the Klingons are all speaking unix?

"Grep ls awk chmod."
"Mknod ksh tar imap."
"Wall fsck yacc!"

4     → Joke


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