A Baptist missionary in Africa was just walking when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him.5 Missionary Jokes
"Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, "Grant in thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion."
In the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: "Oh Lord," he prayed, "I thank thee for the meal which I am about to enjoy."
A man was leaving a cafe when he noticed an unusual funeral.4 Wife Jokes
A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.
The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog. "I am so sorry to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied, "That first coffin is for my wife." "What happened to her?"
"My dog attacked and killed her."
"Well, who is in the second coffin?"
"My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also." A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the man asks in excitement: "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied: "Join the queue. Everyone is queuing for it."
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.10 Cow Jokes
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"4 Piccolo Jokes
The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."
The vector was walking down cartesian drive when he bumped into a confused Scalar.3 Vector Jokes
The vector asked him what was wrong and he replied, "Help I have no direction."