A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist
's office having her annual checkup
, when she heard the doctor
talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina! ... My, what a big vagina!"
The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"
"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once ..."
A girlfriend asked: "If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch what would you prefer"?
Boyfriend says: "Eating between meals!"
A man stands in front of the mirror
and says to his wife: "Everytime I look at myself, I get a hard-on!"
Wife replies: "That's because you look like a cunt!"