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A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist
's office having her annual checkup
, when she heard the doctor
talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina! ... My, what a big vagina!"
The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"
"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once ..."
A boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?147
Mum says:"That's my sponge.
The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."
A girlfriend asked: "If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch what would you prefer"?128
Boyfriend says: "Eating between meals!"
A man stands in front of the mirror and says to his wife: "Everytime I look at myself, I get a hard-on!"8
Wife replies: "That's because you look like a cunt!"
was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes
, but didn't want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."