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Proposal

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says: "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow."

Then he grabs her pussy and says: "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens."

She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says: "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother!"

27     Short jokes


Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fuckin pussy!"

49     cat jokes


One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."

Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking." Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."

Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy."Is it a peach?"Billy asks."No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking,"the teacher replies. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."

By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it's got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"

49     teacher jokes


Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.

Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"

Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl, Susie. Her braces are too darned sharp."

51     brace jokes


What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

51     condom jokes






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