Us - 795 jokesProposal
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says: "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow."13 → Joke67 → Joke
Then he grabs her pussy and says: "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens."
She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says: "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother!"
65 → Joke
morning a cop
on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid
on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa
bring that to you?"
The kid replies, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse
you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick
underneath the horse, instead of on top."
51 → Joke
A Sunday School teacher
of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus
by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving
down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
59 → Joke
today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle
to a condom
because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.Damn
, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.