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Proposal

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

10     → Joke


A teacher asks her class: “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ”None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”

The teacher replies: “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then Little Johnny says: “I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied: “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

To which Little Johnny replied: “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”

49     → Joke


Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient.

"In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional."

With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery.

The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen" said Bob.

50     → Joke


Proposal

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says: "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow."

Then he grabs her pussy and says: "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens."

She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says: "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother!"

17     → Joke


A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child ..."

The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says, "What's wrong with it?"

The doctor says, "There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just a little different! It's a hermaphrodite."

The woman looks confused. "A hermaphrodite, what's that?"

The doctor replies, "It has both features of a male and a female."

The woman looks relieved. "What? You mean it has a penis and a brain?"

49     → Joke



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