Ugly - 27 jokes
17 knight jokes16 Chuck Norris jokesProposal
In days of old, when knights
were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires: "I'm leaving for the crusade.
Here is the key
to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key as I'm sure she will have needs."
The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Stop! Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key."
Yo momma is so ugly she made an onion cry.6 Short jokes
20 Walmart jokes
One day I got hired to be a Walmart
greeter. I was doing a fine job untill a women
with her two kids came in.
This women was very ugly, fat, and disgusting. She kept yelling at her two kids, cussing all over the place.
I walked up to her and said, "excuse me mam, what lovely kids you have, are they twins
She cussed at me and said, "what are you fucking retarded, anyone with eyes can tell that they aren't twins, one's 7 and the other is 9!"
I though about this for some seconds and responded, "I didn't think they looked like twins but I just couldn't believe someone would want to sleep with you twice
That was my first and last day being a Walmart greeter.
23 sex jokesNext page Jokesugly sayings
Paul and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Paul that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven
is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.
A few days later, as Paul's walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. "John, what happened?" Paul asks.
"I have no idea," John replies. "I was told I have five years of amazing sex
to look forward to. The only thing I don't understand is why she always yells 'Damn income taxes!' whenever we have sex."