Twice - 23 jokes10 → Joke
5 → Joke
A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling
obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter
said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe someone would fuck you twice ..."
8 → Joke
What do you tell a woman
with two black eyes
Nothing, you already told her twice!
50 → Joke
went to a gas station that was holding a contest
: a chance to win free sex
when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the male attendant.
"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex."
"Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I guess seven."
"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.
The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number.
"Two!" said the second guy.
"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. "Come back and try again."
As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, "I think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said his buddy. "My wife
won twice last week."
46 → JokeNext page Back to home
A female reporter
was conducting an interview with a farmer
about Mad Cow
Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"
"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"
"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"
"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"
"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"
"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits
twice a day, but only screwing
you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"