What's the difference between a violin
and a viola
1) The viola burns longer.
2) The viola holds more beer
3) You can tune the violin.
A wealthy man came home from a gambling
trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook
," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love
, we can fire the gardener
When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father
died, he decided he needed a woman
to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty
took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother