Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."39 Little Johnny Jokes
"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside ... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
Three men are trapped on an island. They find a genie's lamp and agree they will each get a wish.35 Man JokesProposal
The first man wishes he was 25% smarter, then he swims off the island.
The second man wishes he was 50% smarter, then he cut down the tree, made a boat, and rowed off the island.
The third man wished he was 100% smarter, then he walked across the bridge.
Three tampons are walking down the street, there names are normal, extra protection and maxi. which one says hello none because they're all stuck up bitches.8 Short jokes
A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.36 Money Jokes
He walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.
The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.
The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.
They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.
The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"
The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"34 Boob JokesNext page JokesTree Sayings
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter asked, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."