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Tree jokes

52 jokes about trees



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A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be selfsufficient gets word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief: "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts: "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says: "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts: "Rock."

The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds: "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them!

The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other! How could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied: "My bike."

33     → Joke


There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree. The tree said: "I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!"

So the bear went first. "I wish all the bears in the forest are females." And all the bears in the forest turned into females.

The rabbit said: "I wish I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.

The bear wishes: "I wish all the bears in the country are females." The wish was granted.

The rabbit says, "I wish I have a motorcycle." By this point the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he's ever seen. The rabbit could wish for money and have all the motorcycles in the world.

The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world are female." The wish is granted.

When it's the rabbit's turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorcycle, and says: "I wish that bear is gay."

42     → Joke


Broccoli, "I look like a small tree."

Mushroom, "I look like an umbrella."

Walnut, "I look like a brain."

Banana, "Can we please change the topic?"

6     → Joke


Teacher: "What do we call the outer part of a tree?"

Pupil: "Don't know Miss!"

Teacher: "Bark, silly, bark!"

Pupil: "Woof, woof!"

0     → Joke


Two guys work for the city: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole.

A confused passerby asks: "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?"

The digger leans on his shovel and replies: "The lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today."

16     → Joke



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