I came out of a shop munching on a huge pork pie.11 Pork Jokes
A tramp was sitting on the pavement, he looked up at me and said: "I have not eaten for 3 days!"
I said: "I wish i had your willpower!"
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?19 Lawyer JokesProposal
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
A tramp walks in a bar. ‘Get out’ says the barman. ‘If I can show you a cool trick can I stay and have a pint’ ‘Okay’ says the barman. 5 Short jokes
The Tramp pulls a hamster out of his pocket and a small piano. He puts them on the bar and the hamster starts playing the piano.
‘Wow! that’s amazing here’s a pint anymore tricks’ says the barman.
The Tramp pulls a frog out of his pocket puts it on the bar and it starts to sing.
A man seeing this offers the tramp £300 for the frog. ‘Ok’ says the tramp. He takes the frog and goes. ‘What u do that for a singing frog is worth far more than that. ‘Not really’ says the tramp
‘Why not?’ says the barman
The tramp replies ‘The hamster is a ventriloquist’ ~ The Tramp
A man walked into a bar after just being dumped. The person serving at the time was a woman. She kept on giving him free drinks the whole night. When the bar had closed she went up to him and asked if he wanted to go upstairs for a quicky. He of course said yes and they went upstairs.10 Condom Jokes
When they got there the women asked if he had any protection. He didn't have any and answered no. So she told him there was a chemist across the road and gave him $ 1.
When he got to the chemist there were a selection of condoms to choose from:
There was a tramp one for 50 p.
There was an apple flavoured one for $ 1.
And there was a metal one for $ 1.50.
As he only had one pound the man bought the apple flavoured one.
During the the night of fun the condom slipped and the lady got pregnant. The couple married and raised a son.
When he was 5 years old, he went up to his dad and cried: "Daddy why do I have green arms? This is not fair."
To this the dad replied: "I would count yourself lucky my son. If I would have had an extra 50 p you would have been Robo-Cop"
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?5 Viola Jokes Jokes
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.