Tourist jokes

3 jokes about tourists


What do you call an intelligent man in America?

A tourist.




A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu:

Tourist: $8.00.
Broiled Missionary: $10.00.
Fried Explorer: $12.50.
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican:$100.00.

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for the Politicians?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all morning."



The Story of an Italian Tourist in America:
So one-a daya I go to America. When I land I’ma very hungry, so I go to a resteranta and order a piece a toast. However, ma waitress, she is very stupid. She bringa me a plate with nothing on it. I says to her,

“I want a piece a toast on da plate.” She’s like,

“Wha?” So I says to her, “

I wanta piece on da plate!” and she tell me

“ You better not piss on da plate you sonsawabich! I angry with her, so I leave. I go to another resteranta hoping my luck will change. When I ama seated, there is no fork on da table. So I says to my waitress,

“ I want a fork-a on da table!” and she says to me,

“You better not fuck me on the table, you sonsawabich!” Again, I leave. I finally get to my hotel, but I notice that my bedsa don’t have any sheets. So I call the manager, and I tell him

“I wanna sheet on the bed!” and he tells me, “You better not shit on da bed you sonsawabich!”