An older couple
was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite
"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed."
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
A man goes to a dentist
to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle
to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles! I hate needles," the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas.
The man objects again: "I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill
"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."
The dentist then returns and says: "Here's a Viagra
The patient says: "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't" said the dentist, "But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!"