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A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic.

All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes.”

Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours.

Shortly thereafter, there is third bang and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours.

The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, “Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we'll be up here all day.”

11     Blonde Jokes


Why is a viola solo like a bomb?

By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.

9     Viola Jokes


A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

9     Golf Jokes


Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!

60     Sex Jokes


"Tell me a bedtime story."

"Fuck you."

"That's my favourite."

52     Bedtime Jokes






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