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Meeting rules for managers:

1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for.

21     manager jokes


The telephone rings in the hotel lobby. The receptionist picks it.

Caller, "Tou ti tou roum tou."

The receptionist answers, "Ta ta ta tou tou tou!" and hangs the phone.

The next day she is fired by the manager because the caller was asking her on phone to send 2 tea to room 2!

4     receptionists jokes


What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

An airbag.

9     blonde jokes


An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck."

"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

5     tooth jokes


A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket.

Finally, a friend came up to him and said: "George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask what's in your shirt pocket?"

"It's a picture of my wife."

"Why do you keep looking at it?"

"Because," George replied: "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home!"

6     Christmas jokes






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