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Monsters · Teachers · Eating · Food
teacher:2Little Monster: "I hate my teacher."

Mother Monster: "Well, then just eat your salad, dear!"
3 Comments · Details
Teachers · Boys · Birds · Thinking · Women
boy,soccerA little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"
6 Comments · Details


Earth · Little Johnny · Teachers · Proofs
boy,soccerThe teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round?"

Little Johnny replied: "I can't. Besides, I never said it was."
2 Comments · Details


Homework · Schools · Teachers · Punishing · Sam
teacherSam: "Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?"

Teacher: "No, of course not."

Sam: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."
3 Comments · Details
Idiots · Sarcasm · Teachers · Students
teacher:2"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
8 Comments · Details

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