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Teacher jokes

116 jokes about teachers



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Proposal

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''

8     → Joke


Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fuckin pussy!"

49     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?"

LIttle Johnny: "At the bottom!"

6     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please?"

Fred: "There it is!"

Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America?"

Little Johnny: "Fred did!"

4     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?"

Little Johnny: "Me!"

6     → Joke


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