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Teacher jokes

115 jokes about teachers


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Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fuckin pussy!"

43    

cat:2

Proposal

Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please?"

Fred: "There it is!"

Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America?"

Little Johnny: "Fred did!"

3    


Proposal

Teacher: "Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?"

LIttle Johnny: "At the bottom!"

5    


A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

14    


Proposal

Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it."

Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail!"

3    


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