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Teacher jokes

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In church, a pastor was leading the house in prayer. He said, "God, please protect your believers, and deliver us from sin."

Chuck Norris stood up and said, "What have you done for me lately?"

20     → Joke


Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard him say:

"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three"

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.

The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. She told her about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.

The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said that. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say: one and one, the sum-of-which is two!"

54     → Joke


Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat at school today?"

John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fuckin pussy!"

52     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school?"

Little Johnny: "I don't know!"

Teacher: "Correct!"

5     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "I'm glad to see your writing has improved."

Little Johnny: "Thank you!"

Teacher: "Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!"

6     → Joke



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