Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple
fell on his head and he discovered gravity
. Isn't that wonderful?"Student
: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books
like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."
A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid
sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby
... if I can, and I think I can."
The next on the list was Little Johnny
, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can ... and I think can!"
On little Larry
's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, "I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!"
The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat.
Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, "I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!"
Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal and the first grade teacher told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of.
The teacher suggested they try some biology questions ... "What does a cow have 4 of but a woman
has only 2?" asked the teacher.
!" Larry immediately replied. "What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?" asked the teacher.
"Pockets!" said Larry.
The teacher looked at the principal, who said, "Maybe he should be in third grade, I missed those last two questions!"