A passenger taps a taxi drivers on his shoulder. The driver shits himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.
"Fuck-me, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.
"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse
for 20 years."
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger
asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine
," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot!"
Speaking of airports
, the one servicing the Hamburg
area is known to be staffed by a rather snooty ground control crew. They expect you to know exactly where to go and what to do, which may lead to frustration on the part of aircraft captains
new to the route. This is the account of one such flight in particular, concerning a senior captain ...
"Tower, British Airways one-seven, completed rollout, awaiting further instructions."
"British Airways one-seven, this is Hamburg ground, clear to taxi to Gate Seven."
"Roger, Hamburg ground, request directions to Gate Seven."
"British Airways one-seven, have you never been to Hamburg before?"
"Yes, a number of times, Hamburg ground, in 1944, but we did not stop!"