57 jokes about talks
28 supervisor jokes
was called on the carpet by his supervisor
for talking back to his foreman
. "Is it true that you called him a liar
"Yes, I did."
"Did you call him stupid?"
"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole
"No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"
5 wife jokes
I haven't spoken to my wife
in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
30 dog jokes
and his dog
walk into a bar
. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."Bartender
: "Yeah! Sure ... go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Man: "Who was the greatest baseball
player of all time?"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
27 army jokes
At an army
training camp in Florida
, the sergeant is giving a talk: "The main quality we look for in this army is commitment and this is what I call commitment." An alligator
came in the room and bit the sergeants penis
. It stayed there for about a 10 seconds then the seargent poked it in the eyes
and kicked it off.
"Now who's ready to show their commitment?" said the sergeant. A man put his hand up and said "I will, but promise you won't poke me in the eyes."
25 fly jokesNext page Jokes
walked into the kitchen to find her husband
stalking a round with a fly
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males
, two females
," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer
can, two were on the phone