57 jokes about talks
32 judge jokes
At the height of a political corruption trial
, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness
. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge
leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."
32 age jokes
One day at the rest home, an old man
are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
"Pull down your pants
," she says.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old."
"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"
"You told me yesterday."
30 monkey jokes
There was a terrible bus accident
. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey
which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police
try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.
The police chief asks: "What were the people doing on the bus?"
The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun
The chief asks: "Yeah, but what else were they doing?".
The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.
The chief says: "Oh! They were drinking
, huh?!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?"
The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.
The chief loses his patience: "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?"
The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.
5 wife jokes
I haven't spoken to my wife
in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
27 woman jokesNext page Jokes
Why do men
break wind more than women
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.