There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish
He was saying, "Dam
fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
A proctologist (butt doctor) is walking in a hospital when an intern runs up to him with very important documents to sign. Frantically, the doctor reaches into his pocket to pull out his pen but instead finds a rectal thermometer. The proctologist gets red in the face and starts swearing.
The intern asks him if he's mad because he had grabbed the wrong tool.
The doctor replies "No, some asshole has my favorite pen!" ~ Max