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A passenger taps a taxi drivers on his shoulder. The driver shits himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.

"Fuck-me, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.

"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse for 20 years."

46     taxi jokes


What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.

53     blonde jokes


Why is the number 10 afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine, and 10 is next.

48     number jokes


A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+ 2?"

The housewife replies: "Four!"

The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

5     lawyer jokes


The Fire Brigade were trying to rescue an Irishman from the 10th floor of a burning building.

Fireman shouts: "Jump and we'll catch you in this blanket!"

Irishman replies: "Fuck off, I don't trust you, lay it on the floor!"

16     irish jokes






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