A passenger taps a taxi
drivers on his shoulder. The driver shits himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.
"Fuck-me, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.
"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse
for 20 years."
, an accountant
and a lawyer
were asked "How much is 2+ 2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!"
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
The Fire Brigade were trying to rescue an Irishman from the 10th floor of a burning building.Fireman
shouts: "Jump and we'll catch you in this blanket!"
Irishman replies: "Fuck off, I don't trust you, lay it on the floor!"