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Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask directions.

26     sperm jokes


Yo momma is so fat. She stopped putting on Malcolm X t-shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her.

3     yo momma jokes


Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them. After hours of tests, he agreed he could help. He told them to stop at the store on the way home and buy donuts and grapes. Mrs. Smith was to toss the donuts at Mr.Smith's erection and eat the ones that stayed on. Mr.Smith was to roll the grapes across the floor and eat the ones that became lodged in Mrs. Smith's love canal.

A few weeks later, the Jones came to see the doctor. "Our friends the Smiths told us to come to you." they said.

The doctor ran the tests and came back to the Jonses. He told them he was sorry but there was just nothing he could do. The Jonses said "You helped the Smiths, why won't you help us?"

After continued begging from the Jonses, the doc said "ok, ok ... stop by the market on the way home and buy a box of Cheerios and a bag of oranges."

27     sex jokes


What did the circle say to the tangent line?

Stop touching me!

15     circle jokes


Proposal

So Dan and Mike are drinking beer in a bar.

"Hey Dan, did you know the universe is expanding and there's nothing we can do about it?"

"Of course there's something we can do about it, Mike."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Tell your mom to stop eating."

3     Short jokes






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