A guy walks into a bar
and orders a drink
. After a few more he needs to go to the can.
He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer
, do not drink!".
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps
They had pictures of lawyers
on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
and a woman
were waiting at the hospital
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood
. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm
, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
A man is in Hospital
bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse
" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."
Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"