A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis
. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk
. Later, his blonde
wife comes home and finds him with his dick in a saucer of cold milk.
"Good heavens!" she remarks "I always wondered how you reloaded those things!"
A little girl and her mother were walking through the park. One day they saw two teenagers having sex
on a bench.
The little girl asked: "Mummy, what are they doing?"
The mother hesitates then quickly replies: "Ummm they are making cakes
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?"
Shocked, the mother asks: "How do you know?"
She says: "Because I licked the icing
off the sofa!"
There were three babies
in a woman's womb, and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.
The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed at this, and asked why he wanted be be a plumber. He replied, "So I can fix the pipes in here, it's kinda leaky."
The second one said "I wanna be an electrician." The others thought this was kind of silly too and asked why. The second baby answered, "So I can get some lights in here, its dark!"
The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer." The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes, before asking, "Why in God's name do you want to be a boxer?"
He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting