159 jokes about sons
What's a perfect breakfast
for a woman
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl
And her husband
is on the back of the milk carton.
One day an Indian
boy asked his father why they have such long names
answers, "Well, son, it's tradition when an Indian baby
is born for the father to go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees ... Why do you ask Two Dogs
"Dad, whats the difference between a pussy
and a cunt
?" a young son asks.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "thats a pussy son."
"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"No son" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"
Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet
rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God
can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus
I'm coming, I'm coming"If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
A bloke walks into a bar
and orders 10 double whiskys and downs them in one.
Barman: "What's up?"
Bloke: "My youngest son just told me he's gay
Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskys.
Barman: "What's up now?"
Bloke: "Just found out my oldest son is gay!"
Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskys.
Barman: "Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?"
Bloke: "Yes - my wife!"