26 jokes about smiles
6 kiss jokes
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl
asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss
per yard," replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa
will pay the bill," she smiled.
16 soldier jokes
noticed one of his soldiers
behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper
he found, frown and say: "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist
concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."
20 wife jokes9 Germany jokes
A man is sitting at the bar
in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey
. One of his friends
happens to come into the bar and sees him.
"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink
before. What's going on?"
Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife
just ran off with my best friend."
He then throws back another shot of whisky
in one gulp.
"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"
The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,
"Not anymore! ... He is!"
9 surgeon jokesNext page Jokessmile sayings
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon
in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."