45 jokes about sleep
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?35 sex jokes
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time!
34 sex jokesProposal
A married man was having an affair
with his secretary
. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex
, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf
A man wakes up hard out of a deep sleep and, nudges his wife awake and asks: "Why don't we play it on, eh?"17 Short jokes
She replies: "I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep.
A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks: "But you don't have any a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?"
18 blonde jokes
Why did the blonde
tip-toe past the medicine
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
20 Walmart jokesNext page Jokessleep sayings
One day I got hired to be a Walmart
greeter. I was doing a fine job untill a women
with her two kids came in.
This women was very ugly, fat, and disgusting. She kept yelling at her two kids, cussing all over the place.
I walked up to her and said, "excuse me mam, what lovely kids you have, are they twins
She cussed at me and said, "what are you fucking retarded, anyone with eyes can tell that they aren't twins, one's 7 and the other is 9!"
I though about this for some seconds and responded, "I didn't think they looked like twins but I just couldn't believe someone would want to sleep with you twice
That was my first and last day being a Walmart greeter.