9 jokes about slaps
22 lawyer jokes
charged with assault
and battery insisted at his trial
that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor
to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer
, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the table.
He then faced judge
and jury and calmly declared, "I would say it was about one-tenth that hard."
27 barber jokes
A Navy Chief
and an Admiral
were sitting in the barbershop
. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers
reached for some aftershave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife
will think I've been in a whorehouse
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
10 Chuck Norris jokes
After the doctor
delivered Chuck Norris
he slapped Chuck Norris on the butt. While he realized that Chuck was already breathing he did it merely for posterity.
are the only other group of people who have made a worse mistake!
2 drunk jokes Jokes
One night, a drunk
comes stumbling into a bar
and says to the bartender
: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent
when you drink."