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Sitting jokes

Sitting - 58 jokes



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Proposal

A young boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between theorectically and realistically?"

"Well son, go and ask your mother if she would sleep with the postman for $1million ..."

The little boy asks his mum and then goes back to his dad: "She said yes ..."

"Now go and ask your sister if she would sleep with the milkman for $2million ..."

The little boy asks his sister: "She said yes, but whats the difference between theoretically and realistically?"

"Well son, theorectically we are sitting on $3million ... realistically we are living with a couple of slags!"

7     → Joke


An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says: "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says: "I want two more of these."

27     → Joke


A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some aftershave to slap on their faces.

The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

29     → Joke


A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin. Taunting, he asks: "Is this cabin for elephants only?"

The fat man humbly replies: "No! Even monkeys like you can sit!"

14     → Joke


There once was a man who could not keep it going with his wife. He went to the doctor who gave him some sex pills. There was a label on the bottle that said ... **Take one pill for a great night** The man thought that he wanted a stupendous night; so he downed the whole bottle.

In the morning the neighbors came over to find the man's son sitting on the porch crying. "What's wrong?" they said.

"Mom's dead, Sister's pregnant, My backside hurts, and Dad's in the basement yelling: Here Kitty Kitty ..."

21     → Joke




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