Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.24 Land Mine Jokes
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"32 Blonde Jokes
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"
A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. So he went to see his friend and asked him what to do about it. His friend had a brilliant plan. He said: "Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home. I will be up in the tree waiting for you. If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not. And I will give the right answer to you and her."33 Sex Jokes
The days went by and one Saturday afternoon he met his girlfriend again. They both went to that tree and he asked her to have sex. She refused. So he said to her: "And, my dear, if I ask God in heaven, would you follow his advise?" "Yes, I would" she said. So he asked: "Father in heaven can I have sex with my girlfriend?" And the voice from heaven said: "OK my friend, go ahead!" And so they had sex the first time.
But the boy asked his friend to do him this favour every week, and he did. But the last time when he asked God in heaven, the father answered: "My dear friend below, step aside and let your father in heaven have a go!"
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.32 Sex Jokes
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.33 Man JokesNext page Jokes
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.