How do you confuse a blonde?23 Blonde Jokes
Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
She comes out and says she did it.
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 feet 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him.35 Police Jokes
The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 feet 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."
The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"
Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?34 President Jokes
One got his head blown off in the back of a limosene, the other got assasinated.
A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick.34 Ugly Jokes
An ugly woman is passing and remarks: "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady!"
He replied: "If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift itself!"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.29 Sex JokesNext page Jokes
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you."