Sick - 14 jokes
To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.2 → Joke
Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"41 → Joke
"I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK."
How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?0 → Joke
If it's the flu, you'll get better.
A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.38 → Joke
The Boss says: "when I am sick, I fuck my wife ... try that?"
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: "Me better now you got a nice house!"
Two guys work for the city: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole.15 → Joke
A confused passerby asks: "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?"
The digger leans on his shovel and replies: "The lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today."