31 jokes about shopsProposal
A man was taken for hearing, the Judge asks: "Why are you arrested?"4 Short jokes
He says: "For shopping early?"
Judge: "Well, that's not a crime, anyway how early were you shopping?"
He replies: "Before the vendor opened the shop!"
10 blonde jokes
An airline captain
was helping a new blonde
flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot
was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess
was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!"
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked. "Why not?"
She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
15 parrot jokes
goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot
. The shop owner
points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars
". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss
9 surgeon jokesProposal
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon
in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."
A little boy was attended his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"1 Short jokesNext page Jokes
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said: "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"