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Shop jokes

32 jokes about shops


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rabbit
A rabbit came into a shop and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller answered, "No!"

The next day the rabbit came again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller replied "No!"

Next day the rabbit came and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller shouted, "No! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the wall by your ears!"

Early next morning the rabbit came back and asked, " Got any nails?" The seller answered, "No!" The rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"

33    


Proposal

We always hold hands on walks. If I let go of, she shops.

2    


electric guitar
A girl is driving along the expressway listening to the radio when she hears a song she really, really likes. When the song is over the announcer says the title of the record was, "Hot Lips and Tender Kisses."

When she gets home she's very excited about the new song and decides to call her local music store to see if they have the record. Hurriedly, and excitedly, she dials the store's number. But in her excitement, she unknowingly misdialed and got an auto repair shop instead.

"Hello," the mechanic answers.

"Oh, yes! Do you have Hot Lips and Tender Kisses?" the girl asks.

The mechanic was puzzled, but says, "Well, no, but I've got hot pants and seven inches."

"Oh, is that a record?" she says.

"No," he says, "but it's better than average."

31    


businessman
A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.

Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing.

The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."

16    


blonde:5
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

57    


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