36 jokes about shitProposal
This guy finally gets a date with the girl of his dreams. She tells him that before they can go out, he has to come over and have dinner with her family. Well the guy isn't too fond of the idea but the woman is too gorgeous to refuse.6 → JokeProposal
The rest of the day the guy worries and frets. He gets so worried that he starts to build up a lot of gas. But he makes it to her house and is invited inside. The dinner was great and afterwards the young woman's father starts to read the paper. The guy's gas has built to a level that his bowels cannot contain anymore so he decides to let a little fart go.
The father rolls down his paper at the sound and says, "Spot ..."
The guy looks around confused by this comment and spies a old sheepdog behind his chair. Great the old man must think the dog is doing it! So he decides to let a bigger fart go.
The father takes off his glasses and rolls down his paper. "Spot!" he says in an annoyed tone.
The guy feels much better and decides to let one more fart go to relieve all the gas.
The father rips his glasses off and throws the paper to the floor. "Spot you deaf bag of fur ... get away from him before he shits all over you!"
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt!8 → Joke
If you do not mind me saying, said the second: "That cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"
"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."
"I do not understand," said the other.
The first Arab says: "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out."
He said: "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."
I said: "No shit?"
10 → JokeProposal
A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs
. Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her 'little accident' and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am, how may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks: "How much does this rug cost?"
He answers: "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit your pants when you hear what the price is."
The Story of an Italian Tourist in America:4 → Joke
So one-a daya I go to America. When I land I’ma very hungry, so I go to a resteranta and order a piece a toast. However, ma waitress, she is very stupid. She bringa me a plate with nothing on it. I says to her,
“I want a piece a toast on da plate.” She’s like,
“Wha?” So I says to her, “
I wanta piece on da plate!” and she tell me
“ You better not piss on da plate you sonsawabich! I angry with her, so I leave. I go to another resteranta hoping my luck will change. When I ama seated, there is no fork on da table. So I says to my waitress,
“ I want a fork-a on da table!” and she says to me,
“You better not fuck me on the table, you sonsawabich!” Again, I leave. I finally get to my hotel, but I notice that my bedsa don’t have any sheets. So I call the manager, and I tell him
“I wanna sheet on the bed!” and he tells me, “You better not shit on da bed you sonsawabich!”
9 → Joke
A guy and a nun
. The guy hits his ball into the water. He says "Damn! I missed!" The nun replies "Don't swear. God
can hear you." So the guy is like "Whatever".
He hits the ball again. It goes into the trees. "Damn! I missed!" "Don't swear, God can hear you!" "Whatever"
So, he hits his ball once again, but it only goes about 4 yards. "AARRRGH!!!! SHIT!!!!"
Ok, so about now, God gets mad. He throws down a thunderbolt. It hits the nun.
"Damn! I missed!"