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What happened when the gay guy put a nicotine patch on his dick?

He went down to two butts a day.

65     → Joke


An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.

When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"

10     → Joke


"Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery."

"Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into

the night."

13     → Joke


When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'

They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

73     → Joke


Proposal

Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt!

If you do not mind me saying, said the second: "That cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"

"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first Arab says: "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out."

He said: "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."

I said: "No shit?"

8     → Joke


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