Funny · Short · New · Top
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate
it to the Salvation Army
instead. They'll clean
it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Maria had just got married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin.5
On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous.
Her mother reassured her;
Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man… Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'
'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests ...
Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again ... When she got up in the bedroom,
Tony took off his trousers exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his trousers and he's got hairy legs!'
'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man…
Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again. When she got there,
Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'
Her Mama said,
'Stay here and stir the pasta.'
as I was buttoning my shirt, a button
fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle
fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand
. Now I'm afraid to pee
was walking down the street when he saw a woman
with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts
he'd ever seen.
He walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite
them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.
The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.
The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.
They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.
The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"
The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."