Sex jokes

274 jokes about sex


What is a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.



Chinese: "Me not come to work, me sick."

Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it."

Later chinese called back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"



The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.

When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband any more.

"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'. That makes me late to work I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.' On the way home, I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' And, again, I do an 'or what'. So you see, Doctor, when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want sex any more."

The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"


What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?




What do hurricanes and women have in common?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.



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