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What is a man's idea of foreplay?

A half hour of begging.

98     → Joke


A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood.

"How often a week do you have sex with your wife?" asked the inquirer.

"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.

"That is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing.

"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife."

39     → Joke


How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

44     → Joke


Chinese: "Me not come to work, me sick."

Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it."

Later chinese called back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"

71     → Joke


Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.

“Did you get that for your birthday?” He asked.

“No!” Jimmy replied.

“Well did you get it for Christmas then?” Johnny asked.

“No!”.

“You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“No!” said Jimmy.

“I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they ‘doing the nasty’. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."

Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch.

He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited outside his parents’ room until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.

Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily: “What do you want now?”

“I cannot sleep there's water in my bed”. Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said: “Fine! Stand at the corner keep quiet and wait!”.

50     → Joke



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